The End of a Legal Battle over Traffic Lights
Teach me to Laugh, Herr Boyes

Prepare to Die, Eurabians!

Wake up, Europe! You're on the edge of doom! In a couple of decades, your prancing fairy-men are going to be fighting Islamic insurgencies in burned-out cities and your women will be wearing veils.

Or so says the new book "America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It" by right-wing polemicist Mark Steyn. Steyn, perhaps best known for his fervent, nay unhinged advocacy of the triumphantly successful invasion of Iraq, has now written a book comparing the United States and Europe. It's been adoringly reviewed by right-wing commentator on Middle Eastern affairs Daniel Pipes, also a big fan of the invasion of Iraq (Pipes on the Iraq war in April 2006: "Oh, it was a success. We got rid of Saddam Hussein. Beyond that is icing."). Over to you, Daniel:

[Steyn] begins with the legacy of two totalitarianisms. Traumatized by the electoral appeal of fascism, post-World War II European states were constructed in a top-down manner, "so as to insulate almost entirely the political class from populist pressures." [Err, what is 'almost entirely' supposed to modify there? - ed.] As a result, the establishment has "come to regard the electorate as children." Second, the Soviet menace during the Cold War prompted American leaders, impatient with Europe's (and Canada's) weak responses, effectively to take over their defense. This benign and far-sighted policy led to victory by 1991, but it also had the unintended and less salutary side effect of freeing up Europe's funds to build a welfare state. This welfare state had several malign implications.

  • The nanny state infantilized Europeans, making them worry about such pseudo-issues as climate change while feminizing the males.
  • It also neutered them, annexing "most of the core functions of adulthood," starting with the instinct to breed. From about 1980, birth rates plummeted, leaving an inadequate base for today's workers to receive their pensions. Structured on a pay-as-you-go basis, it amounted to an intergenerational Ponzi scheme under which today's workers depend on their children for their pensions.
  • The demographic collapse meant that the indigenous peoples of countries like Russia, Italy, and Spain are at the start of a population death spiral.
  • It led to a collapse of confidence that in turn bred "civilizational exhaustion," leaving Europeans unprepared to fight for their ways.

Leaving aside the rather unsettling mixed metaphor of a "state...annexing" the "instinct to breed," I should like to ask, if European men have been "feminized" and "neutered," how do you explain the Finnish wife-carrying contest (prize: your wife's weight in beer), or the cover of the German punk band Die Toten Hosen's album Reich & Sexy?

But I digress. Back to the doom-mongering:

Arriving at a time of demographic, political, and cultural weakness, Muslims are profoundly changing Europe: "Islam has youth and will, Europe has age and welfare." Put differently, "Premodern Islam beats post-modern Christianity." Much of the Western world, Mr. Steyn flat-out predicts, 'will not survive the twenty-first century, and much of it will effectively disappear within our lifetimes, including many if not most European countries." With even more drama, he adds, "It's the end of the world as we know it."

I should note that Mark Steyn is Canadian, so he cannot be held responsible for noble America's tragic error, which was to pursue "far-sighted and benign" policies that somehow led foolish, wicked Europeans to create their "malign" welfare states and obsess themselves with "pseudo-issues" like global warming.*

If only the Americans had implemented the Morgenthau Plan (G)! As a fine songwriter once put it, sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind.

Oh well, at least when the Musulmann takes over, I'll finally be allowed to have several wives. If he doesn't behead me with his scimitar (Krummsäbel) first.

* German readers who are upset to know Europe is headed down the toilet: Don't fret! You'll have good company. For, you see, American is also headed straight down the toilet, according to Morris Berman's "A Culture on the Way to Collapse: America Leads the Way", which has helpfully been translated into German for your Schadenfreudig pleasure.